What is the value???

So what really is the value of us “foreigners” from the “rich” West coming over to Africa to volunteer our time and energy to help people here?

Sometimes, when I’m feeling a little down about the possibility of being single for the rest of my life I get very frustrated with well meaning married Christian friends who try to console me, or give me advice.  It’s not their fault that they were among the fortunate ones to find a life partner, it’s wonderful for them and in all honesty every time I hear of a single friend getting married I am genuinely happy for them.  It’s a friend I can tick off my prayer list. 

However, this blog is not about my longing or desire for a husband, it just occurred to me upon reflection on my role here in South Africa that there is a parallel between how I feel about these married friends (how can you understand?...you’re the lucky ones! etc. etc.) and how many Africans feel about ‘us’ Europeans that come out here and try to help them.  However hard we try, we cannot understand how it must feel to be them.  I am by no means rich here,  what I receive each month is probably double or triple many people’s salaries in this country, but after all my expenses I have days where I am not sure where the money for a loaf of bread or carton of milk will come from.  God is always faithful (even though I’m not always to Him).  However, what would happen if everything collapsed and I lost my funding and couldn’t afford to drive my car or pay my rent?  Well, I would have to go back to the UK, where I could find a job fairly easily, where I could live at my parents comfortable home and be fed each day.   I do not know what it is like to not have an option, to be penniless, to be jobless, to be desperate.  How can I come alongside young people who do know these things?  Can I really, or am I just being patronising, or confirming the stereotypes of people from overseas?

I guess the answer is that if we are where we are meant to be, then yes, we can help, make a difference, come alongside people we have little in common with.  Are we doing what we are called to do?  Did Jesus have everything in common with everyone he met?  My thoughts take me to the woman at the well.  Jesus was from a different culture (one that despised the other), He was a different gender (not appropriate for him to talk to a woman like that), he was not sinful, whereas she was living sinfully, .....  How could he ever have understood what life was like for her? ...but He changed her life by his loving actions, attitude and by not judging or condemning her.   I remember once attending a seminar on ministry, and this issue was raised and the speaker made the point that if we do not have something in common with the person we are ministering to, then it could take a lot of time to learn to understand them, their culture and their decisions.  If we do have something in common with them (in the sense that we have struggled with the same things), then it will also have taken time for us to reconcile these issues with Christ,  be it emotional healing, acceptance of our weaknesses or circumstances, growing in God’s knowledge and understanding of why things are the way they are....either way it takes time! 

Anyway I still feel stumped by the seemingly unfairness of life, why some people are living life far from their potential because of circumstances beyond their control.  I still feel helpless when I see a young person not get the same opportunities as others because of his or her ethnicity.  I still feel helpless when I hear of the abuse that people have to endure, especially young people. 

Lord help me to be more like you.  Help me to see things through your eyes.  Help me not to necessarily understand these things, but know that you are sovereign and there are some things that are just not meant for us to comprehend.  Help me to be grateful for every little thing I have, and to be able to share those things with others.  Help this country I live in to receive healing from years of hurt and oppression.  

Full swing into 2011

Well, its the middle of February already, Christmas in England seems like a distant memory and life is certainly back into full swing!....

Even as I type this I can't actually believe all that has happened already this past month and a half.  On the plane home I felt a little strange.  I couldn't understand why, but I did know that from my (lovely) three weeks in England, that England is definitely no longer my 'home'. This was doubly reiterated when my parents asked me to put all my boxes of belongings that were in their garage onto my sisters shipping container bound for Cape Town.  Now at home in Cape Town I have all my belongings with me here, which suggests a permanence that I've not really felt before!  (funnily enough my visa is still up in the air and I'm not sure what I'll do with my thousands of photo albums if I get deported) :-)

So yes, my sister and her family (husband and three adorable children) made the big move down to the Southern tip of Africa.  I didn't really believe it would come about, but it did, infact they arrived here a week before me in January!!  How wonderful to have family down the road.  I still don't think its quite sunk in yet, but its lovely. 

Another big development in the past month is that I have accumulated more daughters!!  A lovely young 20 year old girl called Namhla, who I teach at the School of Hope, needed to complete her Grade 12, and her mother moved away to another city.  Namhla grew up in childen's homes in Cape Town until the age of 13 when she moved back in with her mother.  She was very concerned about where she would live so I suggested she could stay with me temporarily until another solution arose.  Namhla is quiet, sweet and easy to live with, so it is more than likely she will see the year out with us.  This isn't ideal as my house is not really big enough for so many people, but I feel for now it is the right thing for her, especially as she has then the option of academic support at home, and also is attending church and life groups for the first time since she left the children's homes. 

Namhla helping me braid a friends hair (who by the way is asleep in case you were wondering :-)

The second 'daughter'to move in temporarily is Sylvia.  Sylvia is a lovely 19 year old Congolese girl I have known for about six years.  Sylvia has lived at a Shelter since coming to South Africa (at which point she could hardly speak English).  Sylvia has never had an easy ride at the shelter, struggling with several of the housemothers there (understandably), but in recent years has had a wonderful house mother who has been a great support.  Sylvia finished her matric in December, a HUGE feat for a young lady who has had the life she has had.  Sylvia was left  by her father, who has since passed away, and her only relatives in the township did not really care for her and were at times abusive.  I always felt I was pushing Sylvia towards finishing matric, as that is a big milestone for any young person in South Africa.  The shelter had organised for her to study Tourism at college in readiness for a dream career as a flight attendant.  Sadly her housemother married over Christmas and the replacement mother was not so nice.  After a disagreement Sylvia was asked to leave  and not come back.  This also meant her college course was forfeited.  It was a sad overshadowing of the otherwise wonderful news of her Grade 12 results.    Anyway because it wasn't safe for her to live with her relatives in the township, she has also ended up staying with us for the time being.  Thankfully after a couple of weeks she did find a job waitressing so I'm praying this really works out for her for now so that she can get some valuable experience ready for her career as a flight attendant.

Sylvia and Lee-Anne at Llandudno beach a few weeks ago

So, for those who can't keep up..... I have an 11 year old (Lindo), two 19 year olds (Thandeka and Sylvia), and two 20 year olds (Thandiswa and Namhla).  This doesn't include my first two, Ode (in America) and Lee-Anne (back at home in her community).  On top of that I have a whole bunch of Zimbabwean boys (young men) plus a couple of South African and one Mozambiquian that I love dearly who live scattered around and who I can't help but mother...... and of course the dog!  :-)  I feel like my house is the one on the Nintendo DS game where people are constantly coming in and out and you have to keep track of how many are inside.....   If anyone feels called to donate food in my direction it would always be very much appreciated :-) 

On a personal level, its not always easy.  I miss Ode a lot sometimes, I didn't realise until now how much I appreciated her support when she was living here.  It seems that whenever one hurdle is jumped over, another appears immediately.  I am thankful that the girls that live with me are wonderful young ladies, but I need lots of grace and patience constantly!  They do too as its probably more difficult for them living with me and my eccentricities!  I praise God for the life He has given me, and the blessings I receive on a daily basis.  Without His guidance and love I'd be lost.  One lovely development that started this week at home is morning devotions.  We meet at 6.30am in the lounge to read the bible and pray for the day.  What a wonderful start to a morning! 

I will try to update again soon, and all who read this please be blessed

xxxxxxx